Essay #8 [Effect]

“You selfish, ignorant pig!” This man was supposed to be honest, and loyal to me.  This was 6 years ago now, but at the time I had felt us slipping apart for months.  I never thought he would stoop to such a low level.  We were almost to our 3 year mark, and he had been making plans, as well as other things, with another woman while I was working my ass off every day.  He cheated, and didn’t have the guts to just say it.  I packed my things never to look back again.  However, the effect of his dishonesty was a struggle for me to overcome.  He effected my ability to trust, my bank account, and how I would plan my future.

I always had a trust in people.  They then had the choice to either break it or keep it.  After I had started a new full time job, an old friend of my now ex’s came along.  We got along great and before I knew it I had a new friend.  Little did I know that while I was at work, they were busy rekindling their lost “friendship”.  Before I knew it I could see a change my him.  He was less attentive to me.  When the three of us would hang out I was the third wheel.  Finally, I had enough of fighting for his love.  It wasn’t until after I moved out that this man grew some balls and told me that they had been planning to be together for a while.  His lack of earlier communication caused me to lose all trust in not just him, but people in general.  Even now, I keep up my guard until someone can show me they are trust worthy.

Before I moved out, but after I gained my suspicions, I had decided to quit my job.  I was hoping to spend more time with him and work on us.  However it didn’t work out that way.  After I had quit my job I used what was left in my bank account to make him happy.  He was a raging alcoholic and I thought if I was to keep him I should support his habit.  Booze made him happy, so if I provided it I could be part of that happiness.  This effected my bank account greatly.  I had spent months saving up.  I only had 1500 dollars saved, but it took me a long time to get there.  Before I knew it I was running low.  After a month of being jobless, and spending over 1000 out of that 1500, I had enough.  Where I live finding a new job isn’t an easy task.  I gave up trying to buy his love, and worked on earning my own.

Lastly, he effected how I was going to plan my future.  At the time, he was my future.  I had planned on living with him, working until I was ready to go back to school, and eventually getting married and being together until he most likely killed himself by drinking too much. Or ya know, we lived happily ever after.  After I moved out I had no place to go but back to my parents.  I didn’t know what to do.  How was I supposed to just pick myself up after being treated so horrible?  I had forgotten and lost the person that I was.  I spent probably three months wandering around aimlessly in my head.  Then one day I woke up and it was clear.  I was moping over someone useless.  I was finally able to better myself without worrying about this man holding me back.  I got another job, I made new friends, and life finally was better.  This was probably the most positive thing he could have done.

Though at the time his actions effected me negatively, it’s an experience that makes me a better person today.  I am a lot more cautious when it comes to trusting people.  I’ve learned that if someone needs my money to be happy, they aren’t worth it.  I’ve also learned that only I should effect my future.  It’s good to say I’m heading towards a bright one.