Essay #8 Revised [Effect]

“You selfish, ignorant pig!” This man was supposed to be honest, and loyal to me.  This was a few years ago now, but at the time I had felt us slipping apart for months.  I never thought he was going to stoop to such a low level.  We were almost to our 3 year anniversary, and he had been making plans, as well as other things, with another woman while I was working my ass off every day.  He had cheated, and didn’t have the guts to just say it.  I packed my things never to look back again.  However, the effect of his dishonesty was a struggle for me to overcome.  He effected my ability to trust, my bank account, and how I would plan my future.

When I was younger I always had a trust in people.  They then had the choice to either break it or keep it.  It wasn’t until I was put through the challenge of being cheated on when my ability to trust was effected.   He always preached honesty to me, but after months of this abnormal feeling I found the proof to my biggest worry.  A private message showed me I wasn’t his only girl. He failed to practice what he preached.  For many months, years even I was unable to have trust in people.  I always had doubt in people.  To this day I still keep my guard up.  The slightest gestures or words can still put me on the defense.  Gaining my trust is a challenge, but I’m thankful for the few people who have earned it.  I like to think my chances of getting hurt again are now slim to none.

Before I moved out, but after I gained my suspicions of the cheating, I had decided to quit my job.  I was hoping to spend more time with my boyfriend and work on us.  However it didn’t work out that way.  After I had quit my job I used what was left in my bank account to make him happy.  He was a raging alcoholic and I thought if I was to keep him I should support his habit.  Booze made him happy, so if I provided it I could be part of that happiness.  This effected my bank account greatly.  I had spent months saving up.  I only had 1500 dollars saved, but it took me a long time to get there.  Before I knew it I was running low.  After a month of being jobless, and spending over 1000 dollars, I had enough.  Where I live finding a new job isn’t an easy task.  I gave up trying to buy his love, and worked on earning my own.

Lastly, he effected how I was going to plan my future.  At the time, he was my future.  I had planned on living with him, working until I was ready to go back to school, and eventually getting married and being together until he most likely killed himself by drinking too much. Or ya know, we lived happily ever after.  After I moved out I had no place to go but back to my parents.  I didn’t know what to do.  How was I supposed to just pick myself up after being treated so horrible?  I had forgotten and lost the person that I was.  I spent probably three months wandering around aimlessly in my head.  Then one day I woke up and it was clear.  I was moping over someone useless.  I was finally able to better myself without worrying about this man holding me back.  I got another job, I made new friends, and life finally was better.  This was probably the most positive effect he could have done.

Looking back I can see that his actions were negative.  No one deserves the pain of seeing the person you love be with another.  The initial effect it had one me wasn’t good, but it lead to something great.  I now know who to give my trust to.  I have been saving money, and spending it more cautiously.  My future isn’t based around someone else.  His cheating lead to my success for finding a new job that I love, having money for emergencies and a little fun, finding a trustworthy man, and starting college again.  Not everyone can be so lucky to get so much good out of a bad experience.  I’m proud to say I’m one of the few.